No More Ponies
by SuperKamek
Summary: A game has been taking place in equestria for a few years now. The game is a bloodbath and seems to never stop. However, one stallion will rise above all to take out the one causing this... even if it means sacrificing others to do so. Rated M for intensive blood, language and sexual themes.


Chapter One

I waited upon the flat roof of Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle. She's hardly a princess now, though. This game has driven just about everypony to complete madness, including the princesses themselves. However, I took it upon myself to stop the bloodshed, even if that means lives must be lost.

The game brought at least some good to it; we ponies managed to learn how to stand on our hind legs, as that would help with carrying our weapons.

My red jacket and short and spikey black mane flowed in the wind of the night, waiting for the princess to show herself. The moonlight glistened on my sunglasses and light grey coat. I drew my beam katana and readied myself. She was close.

"Took you long enough..." I said to the princess, who was standing right behind me "I was wondering if you were too chicken to do this."

"Chicken? Ha! As if..." Twilight said "I'm more than ready to do this. I will put an end to the games once and for all, but I need to kill you to get to 'her' first."

"Sorry sweetie, but that battle's reserved for me..." I smiled "She did too many things to me, so only I can fight her."

"This is your first fight in the games, is it?" she asked "Big words coming from rank eleven."

"You're only rank ten!" I said "You shouldn't be making statements like that either."

"Buck you!" she shouted "I will do absolutely everything in my power to make sure she dies! Even if that means killing you!"

"Then bring it!" I shouted as I activated my beam katana.

"Prepare to die!" she shouted back as she magically materialized a giant lavender scythe in her right hoof.

(Play Sling Shot from No More Heroes 2)

I charged right at the former princess and swung my blade, but she blocked it easily.

"Is that all you got?" she asked with a smile on her face.

I jumped back and let her trip from my sudden movement, giving me a chance to attack her. However, she got right back up and nearly decapitated me with a swing from her scythe.

"Jesus... nearly took off my head..." I thought out loud.

"Sorry, what was that?" Twilight asked slightly angrily "Couldn't quite hear you. Your head was too far up your-"

"Oh, just shut up and fight me!" I shouted.

My wish was soon granted as Twilight once again swung her scythe at me, this time nearly splitting me in two down the middle.

"What is with you and slicing ponies in two?" I yelled as I swung my beam katana at my opponent.

"Just a habit I picked up is all..." she said as she blocked all my attacks with surprising skill "But you know what they say; old habits die hard!"

As we continued to clash weapons, our battle became more of a conversation than an actual fight. We threw questions and insults at each other while we battled.

"So, who was your first kill?" I asked as Twilight bombarded me with countless scythe swings.

"A mare named Bonbon and her girlfriend Lyra" she openly admitted "I took no pride in doing it, but I had to or I wouldn't make it this far."

"Looks like we've all done some sick things in our lives" I said "My first kill was the last rank eleven. I don't even remember who he was. Skelter something-or-another?"

"Ha! You don't even remember your first kill?" mocked Twilight as she swung her weapon down on the floor, making a crack in it "What kind of assassin are you?"

"A damn good one, that's what!" I retaliated as I swung my katana at her again, just scraping her side. She didn't seem to feel anything however.

"Heh... I've fought stronger than you could ever be!" Twilight said as she swung her scythe down again. However, this time I blocked it.

"Huh?" she wondered "Hey, get off my scythe!"

"If you insist!" I said as I maneuvered my katana to throw her scythe out of her hooves. I spun around and jabbed my weapon straight through Twilight's chest, copious amounts of blood spurting out her back.

(You can stop the music now)

"Ugh... ah..." was all she could muster up the strength to say before she fell down, dead. I then removed my katana from her corpse.

"That's all I got... for now" I said.

XXXXXX

Twilight Sparkle: DEAD

XXXXXX

I heard the sound of a chariot fly down from the sky. I looked up and saw none other than the game's organizer and assistant to 'her', Sylvia Christel, in the chariot's seat. She was a Unicorn with a white coat and blonde mane, and was a victim like the rest of us, but she seemed to enjoy her role the most out of everypony.

"Travis Touchdown" she greeted as she stepped out of her chariot as soon as it landed, her French accent still strong "We meet again. Zo, now you're officially rank ten. What does ze big ten feel like?"

"Makes me feel like I'm getting closer to killing your boss" I said "Speaking of which, could you send her a personal message regarding the fact that I'm coming for her?"

"I'll take note of it" Sylvia said "But note, she's heard zat message many times before."

"I don't really give a damn!" I shouted "She needs to know her time's up. She needs to know Travis Touchdown is ready for-"

"...urk..." we all heard a sound behind us "...hey, I'm not... dead yet..."

"Oh my goodness! She iz still alive!" Sylvia pointed out.

"How are you still breathing? I impaled you, didn't I?" I asked the former princess.

"Alicorns can't be killed that easily..." Twilight answered "I'm supposed to be immortal after all, right? Seeing as how I'm immortal, you can't kill me... but my title will still be... passed down to you..."

"She iz right" Sylvia pointed out "Alicorns cannot die easily, so I suppose ze title DOES go to you."

"Great, three cheers for that" I said sarcastically "Now, could you tell me who my next opponent is, Sylvia?"

"I still need to sort out ze details," Sylvia explained "but if I am correct, you will be fighting zomepony named Pinkie Pie."

"So Pinkie's in on this too, eh?" said Twilight silently.

"What was that?" I asked, placing a hoof to my ear.

"Nothing... never mind..."

"Well then, in that case... It's game time!" I shouted.


End file.
